For those of you who did not grow up in Portland watching morning TV, let me break down the Rambin’ Rod smile contest for you. Starting at top right the camera slowly pans over each child, zig-zagging down the bleachers giving each kid a chance to smile, all the while there’s stupid music playing. As you can see, most kids don’t smile and, instead, they use this opportunity to make a crazy face they spent all night rehearsing.

When the music stops somebody off camera yells out vague commands telling Rod which kid has the best smile and he spends the next few minutes trying to pinpoint who gets the free bottles of Pop Shoppe Pop.

This was the marquee live segment, the rest of the show was Looney Tunes cartoons. The best show I’ve ever seen, bar none. We miss you KPTV12.